This side up ♥

They say when you're down there's nowhere to go but up -- but why does it feel like I've been stuck here for so long I can't even remember how I got here. Life decisions are tricky, people will tell you to go with the flow and let it be but how I wish that I was strong enough to fight the current. I feel as if I'm wandering. Gravitating to something that's been pulling me. I just don't quite know what it is yet. I don't know how long I should stay afloat.. is it East? West perhaps? I really don't know. You know it's been the longest time since I got the courage to write again? Because I'm afraid of what the outcome might be. I'm afraid how sharp the edges of my words cut deep into me. Cliche as it may seem I feel as though I am hanging by a thread here... out of job.. out of money.. out of dream.. that's what pains me the most.. I have lost my passion.. I have lost my core. I need to find me. It's worse than having suffered a heart break -- as if I lost part of my soul.